Hey, you're good.
Princess Ardala returns with a plot to create duplicates of Buck Rogers for her own sinister purpose.
Captain Buck Rogers, meet Captain Buck Rogers.
As you see, Captain, you can be replaced.
I want you to launch the attack against Earth immediately.
What can one Buck Rogers possibly do against three?
That's two down. One more to go.
- Boring, Buck. Boring. - Which one?
The year is 1987,
and NASA launches the last of America's deep space probes.
In a freak mishap, Ranger 3 and its pilot, Captain William "Buck" Rogers,
are blown out of their trajectory into an orbit which freezes his life-support systems...
And returns Buck Rogers to Earth...
500 years later.
Ship stabilized at one-quarter power. Advance to half power.
Roger. Advancing to half power.
I'm getting severe vibrations. I'm losing it! I'm losing it!
So much for Hero Number Seven, isn't it, Kane?
If you keep this up, we'll have to message my father for more posthumous medals.
There is nothing wrong with my design, Princess.
Of course not.
Except that it kills all of our best pilots because no one can fly it. Cancel the program.
Princess, your father would never agree. You know that he... Sit down!
I know what my father would agree to.
As punishment for the way the Terrans have insulted me,
I'm to be allowed to destroy any city on Earth that I wish.
Without this program, Princess, it will be impossible to penetrate Terran defenses.
Then stop talking and find someone who can fly your Hatchet fighter.
Perhaps you.
No, not you.
But there is a man who would be ideal.
But... Buck Rogers would never agree.
We don't need his permission. We have Lab 23.
Mm. Once we have the prototype, we can always improve on the model.
That I seriously doubt.
It's beautiful, Twiki. What exactly is it?
Just what you ordered... a ping-pool table.
A ping-pool table? I ordered a Ping-Pong table, Twiki. Pool's an entirely different game.
Well, there was a page missing from the construction manual.
Somewhere between pong and pool I imagine, right?
- What is Ping-Pong, Buck? - Oh, it's a terrific game.
Two, four people... uh, excuse me, entities can play it.
And you simply hit the ball over the net in the middle with those two paddles.
Oh, I see. Maybe.
Why, Buck?
Why?
Because... It's a game.
- How quaint. - Well, let's play it.
You'll get an idea how it works when you see it in action, okay? I seriously doubt that.
Get over there. All right.
Pick up the paddle. All right.
- Now, I'll hit the ball over the net to you. You hit it right back to me, okay? - If you say so.
Now remember, if the ball doesn't go over the net, you lose a point.
- Ready? - Mm-hmm.
- An ace, Buck? - It didn't go over the net. I won.
Well, uh, that was easy. What's next, Buck?
Dr. Huer.
- Is Colonel Deering with you, Buck? - Right here, sir.
- Colonel, would you please report to my office. - Uh, right away, sir.
And, Buck, you might find this interesting too. Huer out.
Come on, Twiki.
- Our robot probes picked it up when it entered our solar system. - It's like a letter from home.
No offense, Buck. But it just looks like more antique space junk to me.
Can I get a look inside?
Yes, if you like.
Good heavens. There's an astronaut.
- Who could it be, Buck? - I can't be sure.
That ship was flying recon in my time.
We might have taken training together at NASA.
I'd like to take a ship up there and get a better look.
Yes, of course. Take Twiki with you in case you have trouble with the air lock entry.
Our records show no further launches after yours, Captain Rogers.
Yeah, well, your records have been off before.
Yes, Buck's right. There's a capsule up there with an astronaut aboard.
Come on, Twiki, let's move it. Oh, boy.
Use caution, Captain Rogers.
Prepare for docking.
Easy does it.
Nothing to it.
Twiki, is it safe to open this thing?
It is if you push green, green, red, green.
Something must be wrong. Maybe it's stuck. Can you get it open, Twiki?
You got it, boss.
Theo was right, Twiki. It's a trap. Let's get out of here.
Hey, what's goin' on?
Well, Twiki, it looks like we're about to take a trip.
The question is where?
Captain Rogers.
How good of you to drop by.
Great costume, Tigerman. You goin' trick or treatin'?
Defiance. I always liked that in a man.
What did you think of my ingenious invitation, Captain?
- I was swept away by emotion. - Leave us.
Shall I order the ambu-quad disassembled?
You ever have two broken arms, buster?
No. I'd like Captain Rogers's visit to be a pleasant one.
After all, a friendly ear in a strange place is such a comfort.
Put me down, you big ox.
Well, now that we're alone, Captain...
Why don't we make ourselves comfortable?
A toast. To friendships old and new.
All right, Princess, what have you got up your sleeve this time?
Why nothing... But myself, Captain.
Terrific.
Look, Princess, as soon as I'm missed, the Defense Directorate is gonna send a rescue squad after me.
Granted. When they discover you're missing...
And when they figure out where you are.
By then you'll have had ample time to fulfill your mission here.
My mission?
Princess, we have been through this twice before.
- We have irreconcilable differences, remember? - No, I don't.
Let's make the most of your time here, shall we?
Kane, is Lab 23 ready? Yes, Princess.
Excellent. We'll be there immediately. Come with me, Buck.
I have someone I want to introduce you to... An old friend.
I can't imagine a nice guy like me knowing anybody in a place like this.
On the contrary, Buck. I think you'll find you both have a lot in common. Kane.
Holy cow! That's you, Buck.
Captain Buck Rogers, meet Captain Buck Rogers.
Something you threw together in crafts class, Princess?
Alloy skeleton, vat-grown protoplasm.
The Empire's most sophisticated minicomputer for a brain...
- Zygot Mark 1, which will... - That's enough, Kane.
- Fascinating likeness, except I'm alive. - So shall he be.
Once he's programmed to your neural responses,
Kane assures me we'll have a Captain Buck Rogers superior to the original model.
Once a dummy, always a dummy.
Shall we ready him for the neural duplicator, Princess?
Run for it, Buck!
Alert.! Alert.! Intruder in Sector B.! Alert.!
You would be advised, Captain, to remember...
You are only needed undamaged until the neural duplication is complete.
And you would be well-advised, Kane, to keep your guards under control.
Captain Rogers is not to be harmed. Yes, Princess.
Starfighter 1314, this is New Chicago Command.
Come in, Buck.
There's something wrong. I'm gonna check out a starfighter.
Yes. Very well. But be careful.
You look reasonably comfortable.
Well, it's not exactly a sport coat and slacks, but it'll do.
It's a neural capacitance suit.
Do tell. Why am I wearing it?
- Because, Captain, you have something we want. - I'm not feeling very generous.
Wherever you've been and whatever you've done...
Is recorded in the neural cells of your magnificent body.
This suit will duplicate those neural memories for us.
I pass. Negative.
No thanks. Not today, Princess.
Don't be nervous, Buck. It's totally painless.
I'm not nervous. I just don't like the idea of your machine tiptoeing through my neural memories.
Enough talk. Let's begin the search.
Pleasant dreams, Captain.
Ardala, I said no!
- Kane, if you touch that machine, I'll... - You'll what, Captain? Anaesthetize him.
There, his military experience.
Lock on that.
Record the patterns.
We found the ship. Both Buck and Twiki are gone. And there's no sign of the capsule.
Then they must have boarded it.
Begin a grid pattern search immediately, Colonel.
Acknowledged. Deering out.
Any data from that robot probe, Doctor?
The probe routinely recorded a ship's arrival at those coordinates, obviously Buck's shuttle.
Twenty minutes later, the probe logged a departure from that area.
The capsule. But its power should have been exhausted a century ago.
Display.
This is an electromagnetic pattern...
the fingerprint of the capsule's drive.
Any known pattern?
This readout is characteristic of the Draconian Imperial drive units.
They match.
That wasn't a space relic after all. It was an Imperial trap.
What have they done with Buck?
What's going on?
That's not very neighborly.
As a matter of fact, that's not even friendly.
Look at those reaction times.
They're twice that of Draconian norms. It's absolutely incredible.
- Not as incredible as my Zygot will be. - I seriously doubt that.
If you doubt me, why are you aiding me?
Because it amuses me, Kane.
We have enough data. Terminate the illusion.
Bravo, Captain.
All right. You fooled me, Ardala. But fighting holographic images isn't like the real thing.
On the contrary, Captain Rogers.
We created holographic situations which are twice as critical as the real thing.
We recorded your every marvelous response.
My Zygots will be most appreciative.
Guards, take Captain Rogers back to his cell.
He must be very tired.
Why are they doing this?
They're programming that Zygot to be me. Then they're gonna send it back to Earth.
What for, Buck? What are they trying to do?
I wish I knew.
Your father should be very pleased with your addition to his suggestion that we destroy New Chicago.
Yes. It will be much easier dealing with Earth...
Once we do away with that stuffy Dr. Huer...
And that detestable Colonel Deering.
You are truly your father's daughter.
Everything is ready. Shall we go?
- Not yet. Bring Rogers to me. - What for?
You are not to question my orders, Kane!
Ever.! Yes, Princess!
- You sent for me? - I did, indeed.
Make yourself comfortable.
I need to make a decision, Buck. And I need your help.
Another test? Not exactly.
Not everything has to be work.
Some things are simply pleasure.
I may be a Draconian princess, but I still have feelings.
If I told you that I'd adjusted to the idea that our relationship was one-sided,
that your feelings for me would never be as intense as my feelings for you,
would you simply be my consort?
Not your husband? No.
Not your slave? No, Buck. Never.
I'm sorry. I can't.
But how can you reject me? I'm a Draconian princess.
Buck! Look at me!
Am I so horrible?
Am I not beautiful enough for you?
- You're one of the most beautiful women I've ever seen. - Then why can't you love me?
I can't change my feelings simply because you want me to.
But how do you know, Buck? You've never tried.
Love isn't something that two people can try to make happen.
They either have something very special or they don't.
And we don't, Ardala.
I'm sorry.
Captain Buck Rogers.
You think you're so special. One of a kind.
Well, I have an answer for that.
If I can't have you one way, I'll have you another.
Hey, Princess!
How you doin'? Who's this clown?
Oh, yeah. That's right. You're me. What's happening?
Listen, I'm really looking forward to meeting this Wilma Deering, man.
She is one sharp chick. She's something else, right?
- Well, there goes my reputation. - Hey, you can't talk that way about me.
Hey, you're good. But I'm good too. Remember, I have your mouse-like reflexes.
- Mouse-like? - Correction. Catlike.
Well, you got a real winner there, Princess.
When are you gonna teach him to walk and chew gum at the same time? Out! Out!
Your wish is my command.
Gentlemen, please be careful. After all, I am the master mold.
Hey, take it easy, Princess. Remember, brick walls do not a castle keep.
Oh, shut up!
I believe I have located Twiki on board the Draconian ship, Doctor.
Yes.
Those are his E. M. Transmissions.
Fortunately, they're close enough to Earth to get a tight beam through.
Twiki?
Can we use you as a relay to Buck?
Take me. I'm yours.
Buck? Buck, wake up!
Hmm? What? Buck, wake up.
Oh. Buck. Wake up, Buck.
I must have been dreaming. I thought I heard Dr. Huer.
- You did. - Twiki.
Will you stop playing games?
This isn't a game, Buck. This is Dr. Huer.
- It is you, Doc. - Are you all right? Can you report?
Excellent. They've finally gotten through. But don't let Captain Rogers reveal our plan.
I don't have all the pieces yet. But as near as I can figure,
they found a way to...
We're getting distortion from solar flares.
We're losing your signal. Can you get out of your cell?
Well, I can try. What then?
Wilma's waiting half a parsec from the mother ship.
Well, I'll be right there. I hope.
Good luck. Twiki, returning control to you. Thank you.
I feel funny.
Yeah, well, never mind that.
If you can get that door open, we'll both be going home.
Sure.
Are the men in position? Yes, Princess.
The magic touch.
Let's go, Twiki. Let's go, Buck.
Come on.
Alert.! Alert.! Intruder in Sector B.!
Come on, Twiki. Let's go. All security guards, report to your stations. Code 3.
Repeat. All security guards report to your stations. Code 3.
Where are you, Buck? Buck?
Hey, wait for me.
Go wait in the storage room while I preflight the ship.
Uh-oh. I think I'm in trouble.
Buck, what happened?
This is Captain Buck Rogers calling Earth Defense Directorate. Come in.
Is that you, Buck?
That's a big roger. I'm on my way home.
Thank heavens! You're both safe?
Oh, that's a negative, Wilma. Twiki didn't make it.
Oh, I'm sorry, Buck. I'll meet you at the stargate.
- Come on, Buck. Let's go home. - That's a big 10-4.
Why the long face, Captain? Buck Rogers is on his way home.
Boy, are you guys a sight for stiff eyes!
I'm sorry about Twiki, Buck. But we'll program another ambu-quad just like him.
Oh, Dr. Huer, Twiki wasn't just another ambu-quad. He was Buck's best friend.
And it just wouldn't be the same, would it, Buck?
Well, who knows? I guess not. I understand.
You know, I'd forgotten how beautiful you are.
Oh! Well, I'm glad to see you too, Buck.
L... Think.
As you see, Captain, you can be replaced.
Do you feel better now?
That Zygot was just the first.
There will be three more, and they are all programmed to destroy New Phoenix.
Using your neural patterns and our Hatchet fighters,
they'll slip through Earth's defense forces like they're not even there.
We'll bring you up to watch the attack, Buck.
After all, you are the star... All three of you.
And if you're wondering about the prototype, he's armed with a one-kiloton nuclear device...
Which is programmed to detonate when he's with New Chicago's three top leaders.
Buck? Are you all right? Sure. Hi, Wilma.
- Thinking ofTwiki? - Twiki? Oh, yeah. I'm really at the dumps about him.
Buck? You haven't been taking care of your plants.
Plants? That's right. I like plants, don't I?
Buck, what's wrong?
I saw something on board the Draconian ship. Something important.
It could help us against Ardala and Kane.
Well, what was it? I'm not sure. They had me so doped up.
Maybe if we got together with Dr. Huer and Dr. Theopolis, they could pull it out.
Well, of course. As soon as Dr. Huer comes back from inspecting the outer defenses, uh, we'll meet.
Great! It will be very explosive stuff.
Yeah.
Ready?
Ready as I'll ever be.
You guys fighting or dancing?
You're insulting a Draconian soldier, Earth trash.
Oh, is that what you call yourselves?
Well, I'd show you how to use those toys, but, uh, you probably bruise easily.
- Besides, I like a good fight. - Earth trash.
Come feel the sting of a Draconian soldier's stun stick.
Ooh! That smarts.
Nice work, Champ. They never laid a glove on you.
Well, some days the magic works.
And some days it doesn't.
Do you still think your Buck Rogers will be better than the real man?
These are Imperial combat weapons, not my Buck Rogers.
And, yes, they will be able to do anything he can, only twice as well. Really?
Ooh! That tickles, Buck! Uh-huh!
I knew it. They had you bugged.
That's how they knew we were gonna try an escape.
No wonder I felt so funny. Yeah.
Now we can try and figure a way to sabotage Kane's duplicating machine...
Without them listening in on it. Do you have a plan?
Yes, an idea.
I'm the master mold, right?
A flawed master mold means ruined production models.
I just can't figure out a way to flaw me.
If you were a computer, I could short-circuit you.
That's it! What's it?
If you could send a low voltage current through my body,
it would jangle my neural responses for about 20 minutes or so.
And curl your hair too, Buck.
Well, more importantly, it could give Kane and Ardala some very shocking results.
All right, ready, Buck?
I'm receiving strange synaptic responses.
If I didn't know any better, I'd say he'd been drinking Antaraen brandy!
Nonsense, Kane. Continue programming the captain's clones.
Perhaps I've been too harsh with you, Kane.
Yes, much too harsh.
Well, I'm glad somebody else noticed. I was beginning to think I was crazy.
Oh, no. Not at all. He's just not the same Buck Rogers.
It's almost as if his spirit is missing.
- Yes. - It's so strange.
A possibility... psychosurgery while a prisoner.
That's conceivable. Which would mean...
- Hi, gang! What's goin' up? - Hi, Buck.
Correction. Should read, what's coming down? Wilma,
Dr. Huer, Dr. Theopolis.
- We're finally all together. - Red alert.! Red alert.! Evacuate Level 3.!
What is it, Doctor?
Security sensors have detected a Draconian bomb.
Radiation profile indicates explosion is imminent.
- Where is it? - A red alert search is being conducted at this moment.
- What are you doing here? - The bomb is in this room. It's somewhere right here.
Excuse me, sir.
Detonation minus five seconds...
Four... Three...
- Two... - Wilma, what...
Bomb destroyed. End red alert.
Red alert terminated.
That wasn't Buck. It was a robot. Yes.
Doctor, I want you to put all Earth units on full wartime alert.
We just don't know when Princess Ardala will make her next move.
Well, it looks like the end of the line for Rogers the Robot, eh, Ardala?
I gotta tell you, Kane. Your Zygot just doesn't have what it takes.
That was only the prototype.
The production models are far superior.
Computer tests prove that they are capable of defeating any Earth unit easily,
despite your childish attempt to sabotage their programming.
Captain Rogers appears worried.
Perhaps, Kane, for once you've got something.
We are ready to strike. Shall I give the order?
Patience, Kane, dear.
First, send the Zygots to my chambers. I wish to inspect them personally.
You see, Buck, with three Buck Rogers,
you become, shall we say, redundant?
At ease, Captains Rogers. Make yourselves at home.
I've waited a lifetime for this moment.
Not quite yet. Be patient.
Join me.
- That sounds intense. - I intend it to be.
Maybe later. I'm into my own space right now.
Typical bomber driver.
Doesn't know how to handle anything... Including a woman.
How would you handle a woman?
Easy on the controls.
Preflight her real slow while you're waiting for clearance.
There was this one honey at Clark when I was flying F-16s with the Widowmakers.
Gently!
She was fine. But those F-16s, they were really sweet.
I remember one mission...
What can she conceivably do with three Buck Rogers for an hour and a half?
Wild Weasel's ship said there was a Sam-12 on my tail.
So I hit right rudder, grayed out... Hold it, flyboy.
- What? - What about the woman?
What woman? I'm talking about F-16s.
I know. I know. For two hours.
There's more to life than flying, Princess.
What did you have in mind?
Soft music.
Slow dancing.
What's the matter, Princess? Leave me alone.
Leave me alone!
- Buck? - What do you want, Ardala?
Nothing. Never mind.
I am Princess Ardala.
Kane.
Yes, Princess? Those Zygots?
They had better know something about fighting.
I want you to launch the attack against Earth immediately.
As you wish, Princess.
Earth is defenseless against you.
And now, my Zygots, your instructions.
Two of you will engage the Earth starfighters and keep them at bay.
A third will avoid all combat...
And will obliterate New Phoenix with an antimatter bomb.
For the Empire!
Okay, Twiki. You got it?
Sounds like a real long shot.
Well, how was your party, Princess? The Zygots were launched 10 minutes ago.
Soon New Phoenix will be a memory.
You notice how she never answered my question, Twiki?
Party must've been a bust.
Poor Ardala. Always a bridesmaid, never a bride.
Bride... Bride...
Bride... What's the matter with you?
Who, me?
Me... Me...
Me... Another Zygot! I've been deceived!
You know, Twiki, sometimes you almost have to feel sorry for princesses.
Almost. Let's truck, Buck.
Come on.
Here it is. It's coming in now.
Hatchet fighters. The first wave of Princess Ardala's attack.
Scramble all squadrons! Penetration section Oboe 3.
You'll lead the first squadron, Colonel. Intercept those fighters and destroy them.
Yes, Doctor.
He's escaped in one of your hatchet fighters masquerading as a Zygot!
Impossible. But I saw that Zygot in the cell!
Readouts from the beings in those three ships.
No human would register a positive electrostatic pulse reading.
This way, Twiki. Come on.
He's a fool. He'll never make it.
The port's closing, Buck.
Hang on, Twiki. It's gonna be a tight squeeze.
Something must be wrong. Even my Zygots can't control a ship at that rate of speed.
There is no error.
It's impossible to capture him now.
He's on an intercept with our attack force.
That's just fine. Fine? What do you mean fine?
What can one Buck Rogers possibly do against three?
We shall see, Kane. We shall see.
Echo Element, deploy as high squadron. Victor Element, fingers four.
Any Earth station. This is Buck Rogers. Emergency transmission.
- Buck, is that you? - Yeah, it's me.
Running about half a light second behind three more me's.
Here comes the cavalry, Wilma.
Twiki! It really is you, Buck! Yeah, I think so.
Wilma, you're about to run up against three of the fastest, nastiest ships you've ever seen...
Piloted by three duplicates of me.
What are your tactics, Buck? Don't close. Don't let them get on your tail.
They'll try to bounce you from the rear quarter. I'm on my way.
They're all over us! We can't hold!
- Alert! One of them has broken through. - Objective?
New Phoenix.
Okay, Buck Rogers. Looks like I win this time.
One more second, no more New Phoenix.
Oh, no, you don't.
Hang tough, Wilma.
That's two down. One more to go.
It's your turn to go, bro. Give me your best shot.
All right. Catch.
Boring, Buck. Boring.
- Your move. Which way are you gonna break? - Just keep your eyes open, son.
Which one?
Way to go, Wilma.
You should have known your plan was destined to fail.
The plan was flawless, Princess. It was the execution that failed.
Kane, it was doomed from the start. Believe me.
There's only one Buck Rogers.
Now that is a Ping-Pong table.
I liked the ping-pool better.
Interesting. Yes. I must say it's very interesting.
You wanna play, Doc? Oh, I think not.
Come on, Doc. I'll show you the ropes. It's easy.
Ball... Paddle.
You hit the ball over the net with the paddle.
Here we go again.
Uh, am I holding it correctly? That's just fine.
Now when I hit the ball to you, you hit it back, okay? You ready? Here we go.
That's, uh, Hey!
- Not bad for a beginner. - Yeah. Rather. Quiet good, actually.
Here we go again.
You know, uh,
if I didn't know better, I'd think I was being hustled.
Hustled? What's hustled?
Ah, it's just me, Doc. I-I-I'm kinda beat. I feel like something the dog dragged in.
Cat dragged in, Buck.
Uh-oh.! There's something fishy going on here, folks.
Dr. Huer, it sounds like...
A Zygot malfunction. It can't be.
It just can't be.
Gotcha!